Examples for passages of the Bible which teach us how to be kind and not judge people for their own misery?

Having understood your question, I must preface the answer; Acts 10;34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of truth I perceive that God is no respercter of persons:

Galatians 6;1

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in fault, ye which which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Job 11;4-6

For thou hast said, My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in thine eyes. But oh that God would speak, and open his lips against thee; And that he would shew thee the secrets of wisdom, that they are double to that which is! Know therefore, that God exacteth of thee less than thine iniquity deserveth.

Luke 6;37

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be forgiven;

Luke 6; 40

The disciple is not above his master: but everyone that is perfect shall be as his master.

Psalms 26;11 But as for me I will walk in mine integrity, redeem me, and be merciful unto me.

Actually, Solomon has a lot to say about wrath, anger, words and wisdom, all in one chapter of Proverbs. The Fear of the Lord seems to be the key.

Some excerpts from Proverbs 15 (KJV):

1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.

3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

33 The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

I think if there is change in him firstly, then there would be change in his way of handling certain things. However, before you minister to him, I would advise you to have more tact, lest his wrath be upon you as well! I think the three verses would be of good use to you. Keep them in mind when you are talking to A.

10 Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.

So there is Solomon telling you that confrontation is not advisable. I think the pride of Lucifer is strong in him, which is probably why he would not go and counsel B himself (or go to organised religion). I doubt he is afraid of reproach but more like, he hates being wrong.

I think a short verse that would speak to you and A is from Solomon,

Proverbs 11:17 (KJV)

The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh.

Having said that, there are many verses that talk about kindness

Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Yep, A definitely needs to soften his heart. From the various verses below, you'd get a general idea that kindness actually has no other reason except for Christ did it for us, too. We don't really need a logical reason to love and be kind, just do it.

1 John 4:20-21 (KJV)

20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

Heh, this one's pretty strong so you'd need to take a lot of care giving A this one. This is akin to saying A does not love God. And you'd be calling him a liar, obviously. The Word of God is a double-edged sword, mercy be upon us all.

Zechariah 7:9-10 (KJV)

9 Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Execute true judgment, and shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother:

10 And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.

and why we shouldn't judge people. I think Matthew 7 is the best one,

New King James Version (NKJV)

Do Not Judge

1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7 here is saying this very simple concept - Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you. Also, if we are judgemental, if we have a plank in our eyes (a certain perception) we would not be able to advise our brethren correctly (nor do we have the right to). That is because our vision is obscured and we keep seeing what is not right rather then what can be better. We have to change our mindset before we give other people directions.

Instead of out-rightly giving A a verse, maybe you could ask A about king Darius in the book of Zechariah ;)

Well, first of all, a cold is caused by a virus, and goes away in about 2 weeks if you treat it, and about 14 days if you don't. Cold viruses also do not cause Pneumonia, though there are viruses that do. Since it has been 6 weeks since Easter Sunday, what C has is probably not a cold, but perhaps a rather more serious condition--like pneumonia--and it would be a kindly act to urge C to get medical attention for the sake of her own health.

Did C infect B? This would be difficult to prove, even with access to the appropriate lab results from both, and even if the same organism caused the pneumonia in B and the cough in C, this is not enough information to prove that C infected B, instead of B infecting C, or both B and C being infected by someone else.

Turning to the question, while there are passages in the Bible about not judging other people in their misery, but in my view, I'm not sure they apply here. Other passages in the bible which us to help one others--Isaiah 41:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:14 come to mind--and I think these are much more applicable, as I would see it a help to C to urge her to seek medical attention of a cough which has persisted for six weeks.

In my view, A merely chose an unfortunately awkward way to make a good suggestion.

Edit: After I read the additional information several times, and still couldn't make sense of it, I concluded that the A's, B's, and C's were conflated, so I attempted to straighten them out. But the additional explanation, does substantially change my answer. I'm still of the opinion that A lacks tact, diplomacy, or other "people skills". I also think he choosing the wrong approach in suggesting "scolding". But because of that, this might be a place where you modify his "scolding" to "suggeting" or "urging", and achieve something (getting C to consult a medical professional) that he might not be able to.

And I still think that it is reasonable, proper, and an act of Christian Charity to urge C to seek attention for her cough. I've had the experience to know of people who have had a chronic cough who were unaware of how often they coughed, and grossly underestimated the frequency, and therefore did not have a realistic attitude about what the frequency said about the threats to their own health, so I'm not persuaded that C is as aware of her circumstances as you assert.

It's conceivable that even to you as an atheist, God has graciously bestowed more wisdom than your close relative A. From your description, I believe you have the correct judgement about the situation - as the Apostle Paul instructed his disciple Timothy:

Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, ...older women as mothers,... - 1 Timothy 5:1-2 ESV

Clearly this passage is directly relevant to your situation, but to my mind, the best bible passage that fits your description is the part of the bible that describes what Christian love should look like. In many, many places in the bible, we are strongly exhorted (and even commanded!) to "love one another", "love our neighbour as ourself" and even "love your enemy". Any Christian should be aware of the importance of this. Sometimes however, we may get set in our own ways and forget how to do this practically ("a man's way seems right to himself, but it only leads to death"). In these instances, it can be very helpful to reflect on this:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful*; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV

*this part has been alternately rendered as "[love] keeps no record of wrongs" (NIV)